Tuesday, November 08, 2005

# 73 ROMANTIC NOTIONS - Chapter 2

UNCONDITIONAL TRUST

When it comes to the success or failure of romantic relationships, Hub has always said, “Unconditional trust is the result of one never allowing themselves to be in a situation of opportunity.”

Now as archaic and square as that might sound, it is good advice. There would be no relationships destroyed by adultery, if people observed this rule. And none of the failed relationships based only on suspicions, minus any facts, would ever happen to couples who observe this rule. And there would be no sad and desperate efforts to rebuild what once was, and no longer is, if people observed this rule. When the situation is suspicious, even if there is no fault, suspicion happens, and once it happens it cannot be erased, no matter how long the matter is debated or argued.

So in support of this silly notion, I have to say that if it were a rule taken seriously, life would be very different. Right now, rather than the heartsick millions that are sadly pining after the fact, over their stupidity; there would be none in that predicament. There would, of course, still be break-ups over irreconcilable differences like shared housework, money matters, habitual drinking, gambling, etc. But there would be no man or woman longing for the unconditional love they once had, before they wandered into a danger zone and in doing so destroyed a relationship beyond repair.

And sadly, after trust is broken, as much as one may want to, there is no going back. Occasionally two people do reunite and attempt to work it out. And all I can say is if they can come to that level of forgiveness - "bully for them." But, at the same time, if such mistakes are too easily forgiven, one might assume that both are guilty, or else one might assume that neither cares more for the other than themselves. So that is not good either. But either way, for those who really care, the incident is like a permanent scratch on a CD, or a self-perpetuating computer virus. Despite all efforts, the infection remains. And always, when least expected, least desired, it will rear its ugly head.

So now, knowing that, next post I will tell you, despite my resolve to stay away from situations that could lead to adulterous mistakes, how easily such resolve can melt away.

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