Wednesday, October 25, 2006

# 194 THINGS I ONCE DID I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN

A little Meme today that you might like to try. This one was done without contemplation so it is all over the map. A list of Eight Things compiled in quick time.

It’s a list of THINGS I ONCE DID, THAT I WILL NEVER DO AGAIN.

1. Eat snow – I’ve already eaten my share. Even used it to substitute for egg in cookie recipes when I was a kid. Yellow snow (probably), infested with snow fleas (probably). Yuk!

2. Howl at coyotes just for the fun of it. If one can call a moose one can probably call a herd of hungry, maybe even aggressive, coyotes. I did that as a kid until I realized that each time I howled the responding howl was closer. I wish Hub would stop doing that when we are walking in the woods. I fail to see any humor in it.

3. Grow long hair and attempt to keep it groomed without the benefit of Creme Rinse. Ow! Ow! OW!

4. Wear any polyester, nylon-blend clothing if I can possibly avoid it. Wrapped myself up till I was air-tight and moisture-proof in the sixties and I don’t intend to do it again. My skin is still testimony to the abuse of perfumed bath powders, overlaid with nylon underpants, then panty-hose, then polyester slacks. The cruelest of fashions. Unbearably hot in the summer and unbearably cold in the winter.

5. Wear rubber boots without liners in the winter. That’s what we all wore when I was a kid. God, my feet were so cold I still shudder when I think of it. But luckily I never froze them. I can only believe that since I didn’t freeze my feet in those rubber boots, I could (but I don’t want to) probably walk on hot coals without burning my flesh.

6. I will never be a Vegan. I was forced to live that way when I was a kid during the summer months and I still feel sorry for myself when I think about it. I suffered unbearable cramps in my stomach during the day and at night every dream, every nightmare was about steaks, bacon, pork chops, and potatoes drenched in grease. It is unfair that in dreams people can drive, run, fly, inherit wealth, hug, kiss, and even copulate, but they can’t/don’t eat. So all I could do was flounder around in dining halls and hotel smorgasbords with sealed lips and drool on my pillow till it was sopping wet. Utter, total Misery.

7. I will never use recyclable sanitary napkins – forced to use them for too many years in my adolescence. My older neighbor won’t either. When she started her menses, her mother told her to use moss wrapped in rough chaffing rags. Not that either of us need them anymore, but still…

8. Sleep with dog-sand in my bed. Hub can manage that sort of thing, but I cannot! If there’s dogs in the bed, I’ll be sleeping in the other room.

What did you once do that you will never do again?

4 Comments:

Anonymous Esther said...

Things I did that I will never do again:

1. Clip coupons, buy something "on sale" for products I will never ever use.

2. Test the theory of putting a wet tongue on cold freezing metal playgground equipment..yes, it does stick.

3. Leave the house without the directions and waste my gas to find my destination.

4. Eat Okra (yuk!, tastes like slime).

5. Spend more (time, money) than I got.

11:38 PM  
Blogger Roberta said...

Thanks for playing along, Esther. I got a real kick out of those answers, and oh yes, haven't we all done that second trick...and you are so right, we will never do it again.

12:54 AM  
Anonymous Mike said...

Things I've done that I won't do ever again:

1. Get drunk on champagne.

2. Watch the movie "Eraserhead" (an early David Lynch effort).

3. Eat dry dog food -- I think every kid in the continental US had done this.

7:26 PM  
Blogger Roberta said...

Hi mike, this is a rather uncommon list. I haven't done any of these things but I take warning that if it fits in the category of things you will never do again, I won't be trying any of them. Thanks for playing along. Dry dogfood? Only in the continental U.S.A, Canada excluded...

Guess it can't be much worse than frozen turnips!

7:47 PM  

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