# 9 RIGHT, OR WILLINGNESS TO DIE

Everyone is talking about the Schiavo case. Whether this woman should be allowed to die after lingering so long in a vegetative state. We’ve heard these debates before and we will continue to hear them again. This debate will not end because there is no solution.

How can a solution be found when none of us have a point of reference in the matter? How can anyone provide an opinion on death vs life when none of us have ever encountered, read, studied, or explored the land of death and the inhabitants thereof? How can we discuss dying with dignity when we know nothing? When none of us are versed in the matter?

But what we do know from residing in the land of the Living is that at birth an infant’s needs are simple. All they want for quality of life is food, water, warmth, and comfort. This is as basic and simple as quality of life can get. And when facing death these again become the simplified needs of an individual. That much we do know so let’s provide that if we possibly can.

But insofar as the rest of it, knowing nothing, we need to allow people to captain their own fate, their own vessel, as we know nothing about the coastline, the rocks, or the destination. If that sounds like the right to die with dignity, in one sense it is, but not according to most interpretations.

Most of us believe that the right to die is directly related to an individual’s willingness to live or die and it is this belief that made some (who pretend they have points of reference where they have none) scab notions like the right to die and the merit of euthanasia. And although I, too, agree with the willingness or unwillingness belief, I must emphatically state that I do not agree with the proposed solutions – because, as I’ve already explained, I know nothing about death and neither do you.

Don’t tell me you haven’t heard the phrase again and again. "I don’t know why she/he died. I guess they just lost the will to live." You’ve heard that time and time again from relatives of the deceased, or doctors, or neighbours, or friends. So if that be true, there is a controlling factor on one’s right to live or die, a rather efficient controlling factor.

And if we are to honor this controlling factor, and at the same time, admit we know nothing about the state of death, then I think this is all we have from which to draw a solution. But we cannot honor that controlling factor if we are unwilling to relinquish this responsibility from ourselves. And we cannot honor this controlling factor if we insist on tainting an instinct that is so personal to each individual. Whether or not a person can state their willingness or unwillingness is of no matter.

Doctors and others will be the first to concur that this state of mind (willingness or unwillingness to die) continues to function in the walls of every hospital. But I think it will function even better when we become a society that believes it and depends upon it. When you are old or your health has deteriorated because of disease and you want to die, and know that in wanting to die, you will die more quickly, more easily, that you might otherwise, that becomes more likely to happen. Investigators have proved that with research on curses in primitive tribes. When a death curse is put on someone, and they believe it will work, researchers have found an amazingly large percentage of them died without evidence of any physical malady.

And to me, this is why it is so important that we never contaminate an individual’s own instinctive willingness to live or die with influences that suggest unreasonable hope or suggest immediate death. Intuition has a phenomenal strength in it but the plasma that attaches it is fragile and easily severed. Our intuition is as individual as we are. Strong if we let it be. Incredibly weak, when assaulted, because with such individualism, it is unwilling to gather a coalition to assist in a fight against outside forces.

Unfortunately contamination by experts who have no knowledge and no point of reference dictate beliefs and assumptions that chew away and tatter that fragile connection. Isn’t it truly amazing how sceptical we remain about intuition when it consistently advises us without fail? How often did your intuition tell you beforehand about the fraudulent salesman, the bad relationship, the biting dog, the disloyal boss, the disturbed child, the abusive mother, the everything that later down the road somewhere, turned out to be so correct. But still we cross-examine intuitive messages and ignore them because the message sent is contrary to expert or popular opinion.

We need a point of reference on death. But we don’t have one. So no matter how long we discuss these matters, no matter how many laws we draft, or slate, or pass, we are still going to get it all wrong.

And the reason I say this is because of a completely unrelated observation. One fall while babysitting a 3-year-old, the child was put down for a nap. And while he was sleeping there came the first winter snowfall. Mountains of fresh snow. So when the child awoke and looked out the window the world looked radically different.

"Oh, Roberta," he said to me, "look at all the cottage cheese!"

That was a reasonable conclusion because at his young age, he had no terms of reference. He did not remember snow from last year or the year before. He couldn’t remember having every visited a place with snow. This is a mundane situation but I think it demonstrates my point. That without any points of reference, do you see how wrong we might be?

But there is a place between Death and Life that people have journeyed back from. The unconscious or semi-conscious state. And those that have returned say this is a place of nothingness -- no fear, no pain, no threat. So in our willingness to comfort and care for others, can’t be just continue to do the basics of providing food and water and comfort for a person existing in this world until they return to us or leave? I can’t agree that in the Shiavo case, that food and water should be withheld. Because, though outwardly it is a dreadful state to be in, inwardly it is not. And because too many times physicians are wrong in their determination of whether or not a patient can recover.

Terri Schiavo, in her simplistic state may not find life as difficult as it is for her parents who are no doubt fatigued by their thousands of silent visitations. Of anxious thoughts about the right course of action. Of having to try to stare down their own mortality each time they enter her room. That might be the most painful aspect of all. My heart indeed goes out to them.

But if the doctors are right, that there is no brain activity, that means that Terri is in a state of nothingness. And if we accept there is no brain activity I think that amidst that sea of nothingness, an intuition is still present that commands a will to live. Dignity, I believe, is allowing that intuition to lead the way. That is the controlling factor and why should we jump in and pull the plug when we know nothing. With no terms of reference, all opinions are discounted.