# 106 THINGS BETTER LEFT UNSAID

Some things are better left unsaid. As much as one of our basic needs is to socialize, to form friendships and share intimacies with these friends, I have to repeat, some things are better left unsaid. Some things need to be secrets and those secrets need to be kept.

Now normally the fundamental standard for things left unsaid is to avoid saying anything that will hurt another. That’s one reason for leaving things unsaid. But there are other reasons. Saying things that should be left unsaid can a) prejudice factual realities b) create in the listener a superego of self-importance, c) raise unrealistic expectations, or d) in the case of warped personalities, propagate devious behavior. Reasons important to keep in mind as you continue reading these thoughts.

It’s not as if Hub and I hadn’t discussed this. We have discussed it. And we concluded that, yes, even in open and honest relationships, occasionally some things are best left unsaid. We agreed that was true and we agreed that’s how it should be.

But this morning I am so bloody disappointed. I knew what Chinese Year it was, but because it is better to leave some things unsaid, I didn’t say a word. But not Hub.

This morning I heard him in the bedroom. "Gather round puppies, I have something important to tell you. It’s the Chinese Year of the Dog! Truly, it really is."

Yikes! How dumb was that?

So now this morning when I arranged D.O.G.'s (pronounced Dough-Gee's) breakfast with his usual variation of moist and dry food garnished with a bit of hamburger and two milk bones on the side, he wasn’t satisfied. Even kicked the dish which is something he normally only does when it’s empty. Wouldn’t touch it till I warmed it in the microwave for 20 seconds. What’s with that? Only thing different from previous mornings is some a-- told him it is The Year of the Dog!

Immediately after that, all dogs thumped their tails on the floor, and stared at us and paced about our feet in their usual determination that we should go for a walk. I conceded by going to the bedroom to get my joggers on. But Dough-Gee beat me and pulled them off the chair and shoved that at me. Something he has never done before. And then while I was struggling to get into them, he grabbed his squeak-ball which he likes to chase and catch but never squeaks (except accidentally), and began a most rapid, loud, unending succession of squeak-squeak-squeak. He was trying to tell us something and the interpretation was crystal clear.

Interpretation: "Woohoo! It’s The Year of the Dog and I am a Dog, It’s the Year of the Dog and I am a Dog!"

Now I don’t mean to complain but life is demanding enough with these three bossy canines without some a-- telling them it is The Year of the Dog! The only thing that could be worse was if there was a Chinese Year of the Cat. But thank goodness there isn’t. There's the year of the dog, followed by the pig, rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, sheep and monkey. There probably once was a Year of the Cat, but for obvious reasons, it was short-lived after someone told the cat.

I intended to say more but this discussion is forced to come to a sudden end. Dough-gee just grabbed the car keys off the bench and must have squeezed the instant start button in his mouth because, intentional or not, my car is now running. Obviously he is putting on the pressure to go to town. Evidence of my already stated point that the telling of things that should be left unsaid can propagate within a warped personality, devious behavior that had never been formerly contemplated.