# 195 COMING OUT

This coming-out is hard for me. It is not easy for me to tell you how silly I am or how silly I can be. They say, “She is too old to be so silly.” “Mature people shouldn’t be that silly,” they say. They want me to ‘smarten up’.

Their hope is that through expressions of their disapproval, they will eventually compel me to stick to my knitting and crocheting and be serious. Now that would all be good and well if they wanted me to be serious so that they could tap into the wisdom of my maturity. For that, I would be serious. But is that what they want? No. They say I’m too old, too square, too out-of-the-loop to pass along relevant wisdom. So, if that is the case, why do they want me to be serious if they can’t take me seriously?

Anyway, it really doesn’t matter, because I am who I am. And I will not be full-time serious if I don’t want to be. Whether I’m nine, nineteen, or ninety. I will continue to have my moments of utter silliness. Although I should probably be embarrassed about it, I am not. Because I have found it encourages others to be lighthearted.

Still some hold back, clamp their lips, and continue to frown because of their fanatical conviction that mature people need to act more dignified than any other age group. But, so what? The rest of us, of the silliness persuasion, continue being silly until eventually we double over at the waist, throw our heads back, slap our knees, and roar with glee. (Some of us, because of physical maturity, dribble in our pants) but so what?

It’s just another silly reason to laugh louder and longer.

P.S. ‘Feeling silly’ and ‘being silly’ are NOT one and the same. ‘Feeling silly’ is self-deprecating and painful, but ‘being silly’ if allowed, can be delightful.