Saturday, April 09, 2005

# 17 A NEW GAME

The Internet is conducive to all kinds of amusing games – Memes, Questionnaires, Personality Profiles, Horoscopes, etc. Well today I am going to introduce you to a new game.

The game is to prepare a "To Do" list for your mate; assuming that your mate will do anything you ask. Now Hub is, and always has been, very much his own person, so with my incredible imagination I am going to pretend he is either ultimately accommodating or henpecked enough to react immediately to whatever I ask. So, if that were the case, (in real life it is not) what would I put on a ‘To Do List’ for Hub.

Without planning or forethought, I jotted down the following list.

1. Get off the chesterfield and shut off the Lone Star Channel
2. Stop feeding the dog candy, roast beef, lunch meat, and that expensive beef jerky that makes Dough-Gee scowl at me in disgust and attempt to push over my chair and push me out of my chair whenever he finds dog crumbles in his dish.
3. Drive slower. Stop yerkin’ me around with quick stops and quick starts, to supposedly ‘blow the carbon’ out of the engine.
4. Don’t cook me anymore breakfasts at the crack of dawn. I know you make the best omelets and your bacon and eggs are superb, but I hate eating that early in the morning, and I only eat those creations to avoid hurting your feelings.
5. Don’t salt anything for me – the popcorn you made me, the apple you peeled me, the steak or hamburger you grilled for me, or the breakfast you cooked me. Salt is not necessary to me like it is to you, and furthermore, it robs my body of much-needed calcium.
6. Give me a body rub with a luxurious oil and a foot massage with lavender and rosewater

After completing my list, and without allowing Hub to see it, I passed him a paper to write down a "To Do List" for me assuming that I would respond to his wish-list as quick as the day after yesterday.

I was certainly surprised at what he wrote. It was a lengthy list, some of which I prefer not to share. I mean, why would I want to tell you that he wrote, "If you don’t have your teeth in your mouth, stay locked in the bathroom until you do"? Anyway here are a few of the things Hub wrote down.

1. Shut down documentaries and CNN and Nancy Grace long enough for me to watch a few Westerns on TV.
2. Feed Dough-Gee more dogfood. No matter what I eat I have to share my treats with him because you’re not feeding him enough.
3. If you’re going to travel with me as a passenger, let me do the driving.
4. When I cook breakfast for you, would it be too difficult to be a little more appreciative?
5. Could you put more salt in the stuff you cook. And by the way, where’s the gravy? I love gravy on potatoes but I haven’t seen any for a good while. Not just gravy, but gravy with plenty of salt.
6. I’d like a back scratch or scrub. Can’t remember when I last had either.

These results were not what I expected. I was truly surprised, and so was Hub at the thinking that we exposed to each other through this silly game. They say if you live long enough with someone you start to look/think like them. Obviously, you start to think about the same matters, but that does not mean you think of those matters from the same perspective. Though I may feel I am right as rain, through different reasoning, Hub sees another side of the coin. And as far as the dog goes, Hub’s perspective versus mine certainly proves how misunderstandings can happen between two people without either being aware that there even is a misunderstanding.

This blog started out as a simple attempt to do something lighthearted and amusing, certainly I had no expectations of it being constructive thinking in any respect. But, amazingly, it turned out to be far more enlightening than I ever could have suspected.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

I found your to do lists sooo funny. Thanks for the laugh.

2:23 PM  
Blogger Roberta said...

Anonymous, glad you got a chuckle. After all that was my original intention but I think it ended up delivering some other surprising information as well.

Hub is being more congenial about my pleas for him to drive slower and asking if I've fed the dog before he gives him extra treats. But the body massage -- don't think that's likely to happen -- but one never knows.

11:55 PM  

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