Tuesday, March 07, 2006


I read something a couple days ago and I’m still chuckling about it. And truth is, I’ll probably be chuckling for a few days to come.

It is a priceless piece of prose. Everything that I’ve always wanted my writing to be. Lucid, titillating, clear, witty, with impact, logic, and a proper conclusion.

If our insurance policies, and our tax guides, and safety warnings, and instruction manuals were written with this kind of wit and clarity, there would never be any misunderstandings. And we would not so easily dismiss them. Even men would pause to sit and read instructions before attacking installation of a closet door, a tractor bucket, or a new DVD player.

Now when I first read this, I thought it referred to those who would push hairdryers up their noses, but maybe not.

And then I thought it was instructions for disconnecting and reconnecting grocery carts that link together, but maybe not.

Then I thought it was for people trying to toast bagels in a toaster rather than a toaster oven, but maybe not.

And then I thought it was for plumbers trying to use a ‘V’ connector when they need a ‘T’, but maybe not.

And then I thought it might be for the proper use of rectal suppositories posing as oral medication, but maybe not.

I even thought it might have to do with sexual problems – gender preference or erectile disfunction, and maybe it does.

Anyway, it’s time for you to read it for yourself and play a new Mind Bender Game. You decide what ideology or technical problem these instructions are meant to resolve.

So here it is. Enjoy!


Blogger jayne d'Arcy said...

ahhh Roberta! Thank you. You've just given my rant a whole new meaning and I'm loving it.

1:56 PM  

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